To conclude Daniel Nardicio’s prestigious Icon Series for the summer at the Ice Palace on August 25, young comic Justin Sayre convened a meeting of the I.O.S. (International Order of Sodomites), for which he was joined by singer Molly Pope, with Music Director Brandon James Gwinn at the Privia. “I am proud of being on the Icon Series, a fact,” Sayre asserted, “which I will drop on any hunk on Grinder.”
Fire Island was very much on Sayre’s agenda. On being blamed for the Pines fire: “In my defense, I say I am going to burn a lot of places to the fucking ground.” On the difference between the Grove and Pines, already evident at the Sayville Ferry terminal: “You go over to the Cherry Grove side and everybody’s friendly and then you go to the Pines side and no-one talks to each other, but they all have dogs.” “There’s a look to each side of the island,” he went on, characterizing the Pines look as “short shorts,” as a kind of Ziegfeld Follies, with the Grove typified by “back hair.” “It’s a kinder, gentler world over here—you have restaurants,” he continued. “Over there, they just drink it.” He commented on the “shame” aspect of exiting from the Pines Pantry and being judged with, “What are you eating, Fatty?” On his own image: “I look like I teach Women’s Studies … We’ll start out with Simone de Beauvoir … Then I’m going to the Catskills with my partner Joanne.” On K holes, he queried, “Does anyone still do K?,” adding, “I want that to be my Elaine Stritch line,” akin to “Does anyone still wear a hat?”
For a first musical interlude, Pope sizzled with a steamy weather medley of “The Heat Is On,” “It’s Too Darn Hot,” and “Heat Wave.” Sayre and Pope, comparing themselves to the Lunts, offered “a wonderful, wonderful American theatre moment,” a wry skit called “To the Deer on Fire Island,” in which they portrayed our hoofed friends, commenting on used condoms, Lyme disease, what we think of them, and what they think of living among us. Pope then interspersed a tragic take on Madonna’s “La Isla Bonita” with pertinent quotes from Tennessee Williams’ “Suddenly Last Summer.”
After holding forth extensively on twinks, to whom he would give “a twink literacy test—show them a map and say, ‘Point to a country’”—Sayre treated us to a dramatic recitation of song of the summer “Call Me Maybe,” and Pope brought down the house with “Where the Boys Are.” “What was I doing at 15?” Sayre asked rhetorically, and answered, “Mame.”
Sayre handed down decisions of the Board of the I.O.S. to praise Dan Savage and skewer Todd Akin, Paul Ryan, the Advocate’s underwear ads, Prince Harry, and people who constantly quote the Scissor Sisters’ “Let’s Have a Kiki.” In response to Pat Robertson saying, on “The 700 Club,” “I will give up my anti-gay crusade if two men can show that they can make a baby,” Sayre advised, in closing, that we should all send him our cum smears with a note declaring, “Still trying.”